How I want to live

I dream to live in mountain forests with people that I admire.
Admiration is essential.
I don't admire any person that I have communicated with and is alive. The love towards people who aren't anymore outlives them and kindles a similar love in people who haven't known such a forefather.
I admire intelligent people and people who express their feelings (because they are not afraid).
I have spent time learning dances because I can love people who dance. But dancing doesn't make one admirable.
Living arts like literature and music can make me love someone.
I have looked at many tens of thousands of personal profiles on the Internet. Some people can get me excited because they say they love nature, music, dancing and / or poetry. (But people who enslave animals, usually cats and dogs, call themselves 'animal lovers'.) The next step is to call each other (and we have several means to do that). If we feel great, we'll meet. If we feel the same about living (in nature), that's it: we'll probably become friends. But we don't call each other. Have I wasted the months I have spent looking for people via the Internet?
(I have wasted some months watching videos, listening to music and playing games.)
I also look for fighters. People have the habit of attacking (without reason).
I look forward to eating more wild plants and animals.
When one doesn't perceive one's environment clearly, one may imagine things and become afraid. I look for powerful people, with whom to prevent this and live without religion.
Settling is unsettling. It has given plant juices time to become sour, so people befuddle themselves, and ruin their lives, with beer and wine.
Maybe we have pushed each other around until it has become difficult to roam for thousands of miles, so we have tried to divide territories among ourselves; some of us are still displeased with the current divisions. We kill each other over resources and are afraid that somebody is going to take away the resources from our territory.
Isolated people are afraid of nature. People in loving relationships are not.
What would we do in nature? Take care of our bodies, communicate and play. But these things don't involve deeds. We would live as, and with, other animals. Can you help me find out why we have replaced our hair cover with a plant cover?